Yesterday I accidentally put my entry folder for today lol. I thought sleep would help me get better at studying for today, but I am just still tired. At least I didn't start to feel like I was going to throw up until recently, when I feel like I should force myself to study more. I really don't feel like studying. I'm writing now instead of studying. It's such a weird thing. I feel like I need to study, but I don't really need to study because of my grade (god I wish he would just post the test results. I'm not even anxious, I'm just impatient), and I REALLY don't feel like studying anything. All I really need to do today is watch a few videos and look at a few problems, but that just feels like asking a handicapped person to go up stairs. I can, but I feel like I'll only do it if I need to, but I truly do. Born to dilly dally forced to lock in. I guess the thing I am waiting for now is my laundry to be done, then after that I might start. Or just keep it in for another cycle and watch the hour long video over 1 topic. God I am so sick of needing to do things. It has been so rough recently that I feel like I need to eat my meals a lot earlier than I need to, but I primarily eat early because I am hungry. I just want to lie down and listen to music. I have even done that on the floor. I need to fix my sleep, but I don't know how easy it'll be. I know that the whole REM cycle is 90 or so min, but you can mess with it and wake up on the wrong side of the bed if you have an alarm go off during deep sleep. I just need to not have an alarm and wake up naturally, but in doing so I might feel like I'll sleep too much to study all day. Not like I probably am going to be doing that anyway. It's also not like the mornings are the only bit that is rough, it's also the whole rest of the day that I feel like shit. Maybe I should see if I can find a store that I can buy one beer at. I think I am going to need one at the end of Friday. My laundry wasn't done. I am still waiting for my test score back, and I don't feel like studying still. I think I'll get a good sleep tomorrow and try to lock in for Friday when my tests are. At least I am going to have the more important one first so I can put all of my focus into that one, but the second one is a hour away and both of those test go from 8 am to 1 pm so I think I am going to be missrable, but I might bring a snack or just wait and be over the moon when I am done. I honestly am not even bothering to structure this properly with paragraphs, but I do think that I'll at least spell check it. I don't think I'll mess with the commas and other characters. I just feel like I want to go to bed and it is not going to be bedtime until at least 10 hours. My heart goes out to anyone who has to feel like this daily, may you find peace. I am going to find a bucket to vomit in. Actually haven't vomited yet, but I still feel so close. Enjoy this word vomit. "Visions" by Loving as the song for today. "To feel the limits of his hours blown. Scattered and thrown. Like on a windy day. All meaning cast away."